SARDINES
by Heartwings
Summary: It's Chakotay's birthday and a little misunderstanding leads to a great gift!


**SARDINES**

Chakotay pushed himself away from the table with some difficulty. "Kathryn, I do believe that was the best dinner you have ever fixed, it was simply wonderful! Here, let me help you clear the table."

She shooed him away and smiled, "Thank you, but it's your birthday, so you're not going to help me with the dishes tonight. Just have a seat on the couch and I'll bring you some tea and dessert and I might just have a present for you too!"

Chakotay settled into the sofa, "Kathryn, you didn't have to get me a present. I know you probably blew a week's rations on that wonderful dinner and, at my age, I don't really need to be reminded of my birthdays! Dinner with you was present enough, besides, you've already given me a gift that no other could compare to."

"What's that?" Kathryn asked as she sat their mugs of tea on the table and joined him on the sofa.

He smiled and took her hands. "You friendship, Kathryn. That means more to me than anything else I could possibly ever have."

She squeezed his hands and smiled into his eyes. "Thank you, Chakotay, I treasure your friendship above all else too, I don't know what I'd do without you."

His smile deepened as his eyes met hers and their fingers laced together.

/\ Naomi Wildman to Commander Chakotay/\

Chakotay reluctantly let go of Kathryn's hands and tapped his com badge. "Chakotay here, what is it, Naomi?"

He could barely hear her over the sound of screaming, yelling and dishes crashing. "Commander, please come to the mess hall quick! Neelix and Chell are fighting again and they're throwing things and they won't stop!"

"On my way! Chakotay, out!" he replied as he started for the door. "Stay here, Kathryn, I'll take care of it and I'll be right back. I've about had it with those two and their bickering, I think a night in the brig… or maybe one out in space might be the best thing for them."

She jumped up, "No, I'll go with you, I think I have a few choice words for them as well!"

Janeway and Chakotay hurried to the mess hall and found it dark, but could see the lights on in the pantry. They listened and heard Neelix call Chell a big fat idiot, then heard a crash followed by Chell screaming that Neelix was the worst cook in the galaxy.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn and grinned, "Can't really blame him for that one, but I suppose we'd better put a stop to it. Computer, full illumination!" Chakotay ordered as he started towards the kitchen.

"Surprise!" about fifty people yelled as they stepped out from the sides of the mess hall, towards a central table with a pile of gifts and a spread of party foods and beverages. "Happy birthday, Commander Chakotay!"

Chakotay was totally taken aback and stood there like an idiot as Neelix and Chell came out from the kitchen laughing and carrying a huge chocolate birthday cake. Naomi followed them and gave Chakotay a hug as she grabbed his hand and said, "Happy birthday! Come on, you have to blow out the candles and make a wish!"

Chakotay looked at Kathryn and shrugged his shoulders. She pushed him forward as she said, "You'd better hurry up, Commander, that many candles will set off the fire suppression system in about thirty more seconds!"

Chakotay needed three tries to get all the candles out, but he finally did and Tom turned up the music as Neelix served the cake and other birthday goodies. The presents came next and then Neelix and Chell broke out some champagne and served it as Tom stood and announced, "OK, time for fun and games! Don't worry, I've got a twentieth century favorite all lined up, you'll love it!"

Chakotay gave him a scowl, "Not that game with the colored dots on the floor, I hope! Last time we played that I was stiff and sore for a week!"

The doctor stood and seconded his opinion. "I should hope not! Mr. Paris, I have enough work to do without you sending me more patients." He gave Chakotay a wry smile. "I hope, this time, you have picked out a game more suitable for… older people?"

Tom smiled, "Yeah, this game is perfect for all those senior citizens! OK, it's called sardines and it's real simple! Chakotay, you'll be partners with Captain Janeway. You and the captain will have ten minutes to hide anywhere you want to on this deck. You can hide anyplace you want, as long as it's a place accessible to everyone and wouldn't interfere with safety or operations obviously; any closets, hatches, tubes, crawl spaces and so on are fair game. In ten minutes the rest of us will go and look for you, every person for themselves.

OK people, the way it works is, when you find them, you hide in the same place with them. Obviously, if you find them and there's someone else around, you want to pretend you didn't and then go back. As the hiding space fills up with people, it gets packed like a sardine can, hence the name of the game, and it gets harder and harder to keep quiet and avoid being found. Oh, and one more thing, the ship's com badge locator system has been disabled, so don't bother trying to find them that way! To sweeten the pot, the last person to find them will pay the first person to find them ten replicator rations! OK, any questions?" He handed Chakotay a PADD. "Here, keep track of the order that people find you, we have some other prizes too. OK, go hide and I'm counting down ten minutes, mark!"

Kathryn and Chakotay dashed out of the mess hall and ran to the end of the corridor as Kathryn asked, "Any ideas, Chakotay?"

He looked around. "This is your ship, Captain! How about a Jeffries tube?"

She shook her head, "No, too obvious, I've played this game before. C'mon, let's run aft, the farther away we get from the mess hall, the longer it will take them to reach us."

Chakotay stopped short, "Here, what about this supply closet?" He opened the door and they looked around.

Kathryn shook her head, "No, it's full of cleaning supplies and no ventilation, smells awful in there! I have an idea, what about the aft toilets?"

Chakotay shook his head. "No, anyone who has to go would find us by default and that's too obvious too. Hurry up and think, it's been pretty close to ten minutes!"

Kathryn grabbed his hand, "Come on, I know, I have the perfect spot!" They ran back towards the mess hall, then right, then left. "Here, reach up and pull off that panel! There's a small crawl way here that leads to a little service area for the water filtration system. Vorik is the only one who ever services it, I bet half the ship doesn't even know it's here. If anyone pulls off the hatch, they'll see an empty crawl way and probably just keep looking."

"Oh, Kathryn, it's perfect! Come on, I'll give you a boost up there, crawl in behind you and replace the hatch." He did and they crawled along the short access way and into a very small room. "You were right, this is a good spot!"

"Shhh!" she admonished him as she took a seat on the floor, "We have to be quiet, but I forgot how chilly it is in here, it's only the cold water system that runs through here."

"No problem," Chakotay replied as he sat next to her, put his arm around her and drew her close. "Luckily you have the birthday boy to keep you warm! Kathryn, did you know about this, the surprise party I mean?"

She nestled up close and rested her head on his shoulder. "No, I had no idea and it really worries me that the crew could keep a secret from me like that; I must be losing my touch. I wonder what else I don't know about?"

"Well, I'm not only your first officer, I'm also your best friend, so I would tell you anything I knew. I wouldn't worry, you're most definitely not losing your touch, the crew loves you and so do I."

Kathryn looked up and smiled, "Do you?"

He put his other arm around her and settled her onto his chest. "Well, yes, Kathryn, I do love you, I thought you knew?"

She wrapped her arms over top of his and leaned into him a little more. "I knew, I just never thought you'd say it, that's all. You were afraid to say it, weren't you?"

"Maybe a little, but now that I did, I'm glad."

Kathryn looked up at him. "Chakotay, am I that distant, that unapproachable, that you felt you couldn't be honest with me and tell me how you felt?"

He returned her gaze and gave her a little grin. "Well, I've never lied to you, so I won't now either. Yes, Kathryn, you can be pretty remote and isolated sometimes. I've been in command too, so I know that the captain has to remain somewhat distant and objective, but I also know command can be a very lonely place. I know that it isn't technically proper for the first officer to be in love with the captain, but I also know that said captain isn't a rock and, every now and then, maybe she could use a little love and affection. Before you stop me, I don't mean physically, I'll understand if you say no to that, I just mean that sometimes you need to let go and just be Kathryn for awhile, that's all."

"Chakotay, you're way out of line, but you're also right. I give this ship and her crew everything that I have and I wouldn't have it any other way, but there are times that I just feel so isolated and drained that I wonder if I can manage to go on for another day. Sometimes I question my sanity and even my very humanity."

"So do I, Kathryn, we all do and we all feel lost and afraid at times. I understand that, as captain, you have to stand up on that bridge and wear a face that says you know what you're doing and you're fearless and invincible. I also know that you're human and you get scared, unsure of yourself and lonely too and that, when you do, you run and hide and won't let anyhow see or help you. What I'm trying to say is that, the next time you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to your insecurities or you just need a hug, would you please let me help you? Kathryn, we stand together on the bridge and I know you trust me implicitly with your ship and crew, which are the most dear things in the galaxy to you, but can't you trust me with your hand and your heart too?"

Kathryn started sobbing softly as Chakotay held and gently rocked her. After a time, she became quiet and just held on to his arms. She finally sat up a bit, wiped away her tears and said, "See there, I do cry!"

He reached down and gently swept away a tear she'd missed. "I know you do, I live next door to you, remember? Kathryn, do you know how much it hurts me to hear you crying in your bed at night sometimes and know that you won't let me do this when you do? This is all I'm asking, just let me into your heart and let me be there for you. Kathryn, do you think you could do that?"

She sat up and looked at him. "Chakotay, I can't make you any promises, except that I'll try."

He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin. "That's all I ask, Kathryn. You don't have to love me, but, please, just let me love you."

They sat together in silence, holding on to one another and just living for the moment. Kathryn clutched Chakotay's shirt in her hands and held on as he cradled her head and smoothed her hair. She finally let out a deep sigh and broke the silence. "I do love you, you know."

"Thank you, Kathryn. Hearing you say that was the best birthday present I could have ever wished for, but there is one more thing I'd like to have."

Kathryn sat up and gave him a smile. "What's that? I'm all out of replicator rations, you know!"

He pushed a wisp of hair off her forehead. "Not a problem. Kathryn, what I'd like right now, more than anything, is to kiss you."

"Not a problem," she replied as she leaned up and met his lips. Their first kiss was long and gentle, but full of promise, as they cuddled up and forgot about everything but one another and drifted off to sleep together.

Kathryn was the first to awake and she gently shook Chakotay and whispered, "Wake up, what time is it?"

He shook the sleep from his head and checked his watch. "My gods, it's after 2200! The game, we've been hiding in here for more than two hours and nobody has found us!"

Kathryn gave him a lopsided grin as she headed for the hatch. "Well, you did say I was pretty good at hiding myself away, didn't you? C'mon, let's go find them, maybe they all gave up and went back to the Alpha Quadrant without us!"

They slipped out of the hatch and returned to the mess hall, but found it dark and deserted. Next they checked the crew lounge, but that was also unoccupied. Chakotay finally overrode the ship's locater system and found that everyone was in holodeck two, so he and Kathryn headed down there.

As they entered, Chakotay was heralded with another rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday" as Sandrine and the waiters passed out more champagne and everyone present drank a toast to Chakotay.

Chakotay thanked them again and proudly boasted, "I see we hid so well that none of you were able to find us!"

"Find you?" Harry Kim asked in confusion.

"Well, yes," Chakotay replied, "The game we were playing, sardines."

Neelix scratched his head. "Playing sardines? Oh my goodness, I think you're confused, Commander, Tom said that we were partying at Sandrine's!"

"Sandrine's, yes that's what Tom said, Sandrine's! You must just have misunderstood, Sir," Jenny Delaney added.

"Yeah, I definitely said Sandrine's! Maybe your hearing is going, old man!" Tom said as he slapped him on the back. The party kicked into high gear as everyone had a good laugh at Chakotay's expense.

Kathryn was confused as well and took Chakotay aside. "Chakotay, are they all section eights or what? Tom definitely said sardines, not Sandrine's. I was there too, I heard it!"

"Well, it seems you and I were the only ones who did! Wait here, I'll go have a word with Mr. Paris and get to the bottom of this!" Chakotay made his way across the room and took Tom aside. "Tom, I may be pushing fifty, but I'm not senile yet and you definitely said we were playing sardines, the captain heard it too. Do you mean to tell me that you made Kathryn and I sit there together in that tiny little cubby hole of a space for more than two hours while the rest of you were here and didn't even bother to look for us?"

Tom's eyes twinkled as he giggled, "Well, yeah! You and the captain, pleasantly buzzed with real alcohol, alone together in cramped quarters for two hours... C'mon, Chakotay, are you trying to tell me it wasn't a great gift and you didn't enjoy every minute of it?"

Chakotay grinned and rubbed his chin. "Well, now that you mention it… Gosh, Tom, sardines-Sandrine's, that's a mistake anyone could make! The captain is pretty miffed; do you have any idea how to explain it to her?"

"Like you said, Chakotay, it's a mistake anyone could make and I guarantee you every single person on this ship will swear that I said 'Sandrine's'! Now, why don't you two go and have a good time?"

"Thanks, Tom, we will!"

"No problem, old man! Gee, I bet that was the best birthday present you ever got, wasn't it?"

Chakotay looked over at Kathryn and smiled. "No, Tom, but it's a close second!"

**THE END**


End file.
